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21 lines
1.4 KiB
Markdown
21 lines
1.4 KiB
Markdown
**Pronounced**: (burGell ShmurGell)
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**Real Name**: Dingleberry Feltchbunger
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**Known Aliases**: Burgell Schmurgel, Bingbong Durgle, Fnimble Oakphallus, Lord Boddynock Timbercock, Kevin the Basedgod, Vaardland's King of Pop, Bobo Wilcox
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**Birthplace**: Outer Gnomerend, south woods
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**Criminal Profile**: Pathological liar with no poker face, incorrigible gambler, severely adept pickpocket with an eye for value (both monetary and emotional), legendary prankster.
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![[NewBurgell.webp]]
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Known for running from fights just as often as delivering killing blows to mighty foes. \[The High Elves have redacted many of the details of regarding the current whereabouts of Burgell\] "Kevin let your light shine down" is played in his memory.
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#### WANTED CRIMINAL IN SEVERAL JURISDICTIONS
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Including:
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- The Infernal Rapture (establishment)
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- Biff Chalky's Funtastic Family Fallafel (establishment)
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- Nephil (empire)
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- YesAnd (planet)
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- Erythnul (planet)
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- Target (establishment)
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**RIP**: the spiders Dingus, Dungal, Drano, Bubba, Tiny, and Rex, Lil Ben the rat, and Darius Smuckers the owl who isn't dead, but he's dead to me Burgell will be remembered by the Heroes of Vaardland and a few dozen pigeons, and he will be feared by all those toadstool humping tickwits watching Itch. I am coming for you assholes.
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That's right, I wrote my own bio AND I faked my death. See yous in the funny papers, kids. |